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Catch And Candy Time


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Yay! Lunchtime! MEG: And don’t worry about the weight. It should come off after you stop nursing the infant. Katie. That’s her name. Oh, okay. Oh, no. I have to pee. (KATIE CRYING) It just falls out of me these days. Can you hold Games No, no, no, no, no. I’m not good with babies. Hello. How are you today? Your mom should be coming back soon. Is, um, Katie short for Katherine? See, some women would look at what you just did and think that you smiled. But, because I’m a doctor, I know that that was probably just an involuntary tic, or gas. You know what? (WHISPERS) You’re not that cute, and I am not falling for it. So, you just keep trying, but it is “no.” (LAUGHS) (GURGLES) Shut up, baby. And, you know what? Don’t touch that, because that’s not very sanitary. Yeah. (LAUGHS) Germs are little bugs, like little microbes that get into your mouth, and they make you sick. (COOING) So, you eat your shoe. (KISSING) (GASPS) You are not winning me over. No, you’re not. Why do you put everything in your mouth? Hello. Hi. MEG: And so we’re clear, there are a lot of people in this world who need things like you in their lives, to feel complete. I am not one of them. I am fine without you. Fine. You win. (KEYBOARD CLACKING) If Tom texts you, which he won’t, because it’s still daylight, wait four hours to respond. (SCOFFS) I was not even thinking about Tom. Anything sooner implies that you’re needy and really co-dependent and incapable of a simple hookup, which is all he’s good for. I think that I could actually be, like, a good Games And, when you respond, do not respond in full sentences. Okay. And if you use an emoji, I will ing tit-punch you. Fine. Fine. (CELL PHONE VIBRATES) (GASPS) No! No! Oh, no. You can have this back at the end of the day. Fine. An emoji? (GASPS) Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) (BOTH PANTING) This is so dumb. Okay. It’s not like I don’t know you’re bad for me. Sure. And I’m not gonna be one of those clichéd girls who thinks I can, like, change you, or something. No, you can’t. No.


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