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Christmas Adventure 2


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a competitor, if you can call Uncle Sam a competitor, hires my own team, Barney and the whole gang to whack me. Things got ugly real fast and a lot of people got dead. Three former brothersinarms. You shut your mouth. Three Expendables, our brothers. Men we ate with, fought with, bled with. Dead. He puts three slugs into my chest. Thank God for body armor. Even I thought I was dead. And then he boogies out with the casualties. All dead because you couldn’t stay out of my business! Shut your mouth! Barney! Barney! Go on, do it! Go on! THORN: It’s what he wants. BARNEY GRUNTS STONEBANKS LAUGHS Oh, it’s hard to fathom. I can’t believe you forgot. What? That it’s hard to beat an enemy when he’s living inside your own head. See, you tie me up like an animal, lead me to the slaughter. You humiliate me, disgrace me. Now, when the time comes to kill you, And it will, I will not use a weapon, I will use my hands. Because I want you to feel the way that I feel right now. Jesus, we were brothers. ALL SHOUTING SMILEE: Hey! Hey! SCREAMING RAPID BEEPING What’s that? It’s a GPS tracker! It’s a GPS tracker! How ’bout that? HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING GROANS GRUNTS BARNEY GRUNTS BARNEY SHOUTS GRUNTS INDISTINCT TALKING GROANS Hold it! We may need ’em. I need a body. Find him. INDISTINCT CHATTER MEN SPEAKING LOCAL DIALECT MEN LAUGH GRUNTS BARNEY GROANS SPEAKING LOCAL DIALECT PANTING GRUNTS SIGHS What happened? We found a shitstorm. It’s gonna get worse. This came in for you minutes ago. STONEBANKS: ON LAPTOP Hey, Barney! My search party’s dead, so I’m taking it you’re still with us. Now, you should’ve killed me when you had the chance ’cause that’s your last window. It’s gone. Now, I got something to show you here. We got Harpo, Groucho, Gummo and Chica! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, give her a little squeeze there, Krug. She’s so pretty. STRUGGLING Personally, I’d chalk it up to collateral damage. I don’t give a . But I know you. Fortyeight hours and they’re gone for good. If you want ’em, come get ’em. What are you gonna do?


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