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wind out of himself. Fifteen minutes I was late for class. Then, out of nowhere he gets up and turns bright red, can’t even make eye contact and he goes, ‘Um, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me on Saturday?’ I was like, ‘No, I have a boyfriend.’ And he goes like, ‘Me too.’ And he just walked away. Did you know he was ? And I heard he can’t read.” You know, I talk about high school, but I loved high school. Like I said, the greatest luxury of my life was being an average student, loved it. I was a popular kid, I had a lot of friends, life was great. What I would do is I would luck into situations. Like, when I was years old, I was dating this year-old dancer. Not stripper, but probably. You don’t ask a lot of questions at . But I’ll never forget this, okay? Because what would happen is I’d luck into something, but then I could ruin something. It was weird. Like, she said to me this, she goes, “Um, listen, I want you to come over. I wanna cook you dinner and then maybe we could do some other stuff.” So my heart is racing, my is tingling, I’m a virgin at the time. I’m thinking I’m gonna lose my virginity to a woman at her place, ’cause I lived with my parents. So, I went home and I dressed up. Like, dressed up, like it was communion. I don’t know what the I was doing. Like, I was dressed up. My dad was like, “Where are you going?” I was like, “The movies.” He was like, “A premiere? Where the are you going?” So I go to her house and here’s the problem, at , I didn’t know how to open up a ual conversation. I didn’t know. Did you just show up naked in an over-sized coat? You know, she opens the door and I’m like, “Hey, dessert.” You know? I didn’t know. I didn’t know how to open a ual conversation. So, we’re sitting there, we have dinner, everything’s going well, I’m rock hard under the table, Rudy’s like, “I wanna play!” You know what I mean, like, it’s happening. But I don’t know how to do it, so now she’s in the kitchen, she’s washing the dishes. About two and a half hours in, I start to panic.